What the Heck....

A long while back I said out loud, "what the heck are we going to do today?"  Not really thinking 'what the heck' is a horrible thing to say, until it stuck in Whitney's head and she pulled it from that incredible (selective) 2 year old memory and ALL THE TIME she randomly will sing song... 'what the heck do today!" "what the heck do today!"

Five Minute Friday

This is what is going on in my head today (lately).   I won't lie, I have been overwhelmed/stressed with the day to day demands of being a SAHM.  Now, I wouldn't trade it for the world to be able to stay home with my girls.  I wouldn't go to work right now if you paid me (ha ha!).   I think I have been feeling defeated lately because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not getting brighter fast enough.  Meaning-  a full night of sleep is oh.... so...... close!  Getting stuff done in the kitchen without a baby hanging on my legs is oh... so.... close!   Not having to carry a baby on my hip while we are out is oh... so.... close!  I love my little Ellie bear and I do cherish her baby days and just kiss those chubby baby cheeks all day, but I'm exhausted. .  It's not just the baby phase that exhausts me.  It is the 2 year old stage too.  Not listening, whining, potty training, never been much a sleeper, etc.   I know I need to suck it up and regroup and I'm not the only SAHM out there that also does it every single day who doesn't complain (publicly).  There are more good moments than bad and I just need to shake that whoa is me mindset.   I have had the opportunity to get out without the girls lately.  I went out to eat with my SIL's one evening, I got an hour massage last weekend (heaven!) and have been to bible study two weeks in a row at 1 1/2 hrs each.  I was okay without having me time with Whitney, but with two, whew!, I sure need it and feel great after I get it.  Call me a whimp, I don't care, that's how I feel right now and I know it will get easier.  I am grateful for being able to stay home and know many moms would stay home if they had the opportunity.  I can vent, can't I? 

As for my breastfeeding update... I will go to 8 months because that is only two weeks away now.  My long term goal is to make it 10 months.  That will put us literally right before Christmas and before Wade will have to leave in January.  I'm holding this goal loosely, but I think I can do it.

Boone Scenic Valley Railway

Yesterday afternoon we went to Boone to ride the train.  Wade and I never had so we figured since we were so close we may as well go.  It was a gorgeous day and the leaves are starting to turn.  Well.... we weren't the only ones with the great idea to ride the train.  It was PACKED!!!  The train left 15min behind schedule and they claimed they are always punctual, but so many people showed up that day to ride.  It was about an hour and a half ride and the girls did well.  It was at 1:30, so it was at Whitney's nap time and she fell asleep on the ride back.  It is crazy how high up the trestle bridge is.

if you click on the picture you can see Ellie's bottom teeth :)

Five Minute Friday

I am starting to loose steam on my desire to continue breastfeeding.  There have always been more reasons to stop, they are just starting to come to the forefront of my mind. Like..... having to wear a bra 24/7 is irratating, having my nipples sucked by a pump five time a day is less than awesome, taking the time to pump, having Ellie crawl all over me while I try to pump, taking my pump with me and finding a place to pump while we leave the house for a day, pump parts and pump bottles cluttering my counter, having a pump bag sitting in our living room... and it doesn't help that I feel less of an attatchment because I pump.  Ellie wakes up once in the early morning and will breastfeed then, so I don't have that breastfeeding bond like I did with Whitney.  During the day Ellie does not want me AT ALL anymore. 

What is keeping me going is the nutrition of breast milk.  It is what she has been drinking for 7+ months.  I fed Whitney for 11 months so I want to do the same for Ellie.  I stay home so it isn't as difficult to pump as I make it sound.  My supply is just fine.  Ellie will take formula if she needs to.  And least important to me but is a nice bonus, is that breast milk is FREE!  I am undecided what to do, set a new goal to keep going to 8 months???  Oh yeah, they calorie burn of breastfeeding is a nice bonus too.  I won't complain about getting sucked down to pre pregnancy weight after two kids in a matter of six months.  BUT, it does take a lot of energy to breast feed and some days I feel completely depleted, no pun intended.

The Bible study that I went to last year started back up again.  Wade was able to watch the girls and I was able to attend worry free.  Sometimes it amazes me on what the lesson is on, like they knew I was going to attend this week.  It was about the power of our tounge and the words we use.  How quickly it can praise or critisize and the effect our words have on people.  I tend to complain and be critical to Wade, which he tells me all the time I need to think before I speak and am I intentionally trying to piss him off?  The study asked if you have recently started a fire with your tounge that you needed to put out.  Why yes, just last week.  How did they know?  So, it was a good reminder for me to watch what I say and to be more careful and selective with my words.  I hung the lesson on my fridge for a daily reminder.  Just as I say to Whitney, if you speak nicely to me I will speak nicely to you.

Fun With Friends

My old friend Misty, and I don't mean she is old, I mean we have been friends for a long time... like pre kindergarten long time... came for a visit this last weekend.  She brought her soon to be 3 year old Griffen and fiance Artie, also a friend from my hometown.   It's one of those friendships where you just pick up where you left off.  We don't talk on the phone and we email occasionaly to check in or to have some girl talk.  If we're lucky we get to see each other about once a year.  Fun weekend.  The kids got along really well, Griffen is such a sweet boy. 

Saturday afternoon we went to the orchard again.

that's me and little Ellie bear, she liked it too!

Misty, Griffen and Artie

Five Minute Friday

I don't have a lot to say this friday, and yes, it is still friday.  9pm, but it's still friday.  I love today.  It is the fall equinox.  It is the perfect temperature and the perfect amount of light.  Dark enough in the morning to sleep in a bit, and gets dark at night just before bath time.  Every day could be the first day of fall.  7 months in and I am still struggling with juggling a house, kids and a marriage.  Maybe by the time the girls are in college I'll have it down pat!  I am going to try to plan out meals a week at a time, and maybe a month at a time if I'm really good at it.  All I have to do is plan it, Wade takes care of the cooking!  I should be able to handle that.  And buy the groceries to go along with the plan.

wade asked me to keep an eye on the sauce as he went out to grill a chicken breast, I don't think this was supposed to be a secret ingredient!

Whitney let me do this to her hair today!  it last a couple of hours

Whitney's random photography, hilarious to go through the camera to see what she takes pictures of.  Through the eyes of a child!

ellie bear

Ellison- 7 month photos